As an aspiring feminist and someone who likes to r...

2009-08-27T21:52:46.893-07:00

As an aspiring feminist and someone who likes to read his own writing, I felt the need to chime in on this blog. Let me break this article down on two levels - 1) The idea of masculinity and femininity as binary truths and 2) the validity of Home Depot as a Temple of Dongs.

First off, let me say that by contemporary definitions of masculine and feminine, my wife and I defy standard categorization. While I suffer from dishpan hands, she can swing a mean mallet. That said, I like football, hate the movie The Notebook, and think that my high cholesterol only makes me sexier while she enjoys getting her makeup just right, lemon drop martinis, and thinks pumping gas is something she shouldn't have to do if I am within reach. I believe that there are physical differences between men and women (Jamie Lee Curtis notwithstanding) but the idea of gender roles is a fallacious concept perpetuated by backward thinkers (i.e. Republicans). This is a discussion of nature vs. nurture and I would suggest that a patriarchal society feels the need to marginalize women in order to maintain a false sense of superiority.

As for the second issue, let's assume that there are places that should be reserved only for men: country clubs, church offices, gay bars, etc. Does Home Depot really fit this category? I think that a real man would know you get your wood from a lumber yard, your nails from the local blacksmith, and your ceiling fans from - CEILING FANS? What kind of pansy gets a ceiling fan? If a man gets hot, he sweats. If that ain't enough to cool him down, good, because he must be working too hard to cool down and therefore he's even more of a real man than I figured him to be when I first started this run on sentence. Look, Home Depot is built on the notion of a one stop shop for all your home improvement needs. This is not manly. Men will travel to the ends of the Earth for the sake of the hunt. To get everything you need in nice little compartmentalized sections of a big store...well that's for sissies.

By the way, I'm a winter.

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As an aspiring feminist and someone who likes to r...