“The TSA protects the nation’s transportation systems to ensure freedom of movement for people and commerce.” That comes from their own website. I appreciate the folks at the airport who check for weapons and keep people with bad intentions out of airliners. Since I fly, I’m interested in getting to my destination safely. I get it and I have no problem with that.
But here’s what I do have a problem with. I fly a small plane. Because my plane goes up into the air, and I am a pilot, the TSA has placed me on their “watch list” and I am now suspect. To continue flying my small plane out of an airport that has 5 commercial flights daily, I needed to undergo a full federal background check, at my expense, and get a badge, at my expense. Anytime I am at my airport, that federally required badge needs to be worn. However, if I go to another airport, my federal badge is no good. I need an escort. My badge is only good at my airport. So much for freedom of movement.
Now, here’s the fun part. There are 8 airports within 20 miles of my airport that you don’t need a badge or a background check. Some don’t even have fences. Those that do have fences have rabbits and deer all over them. If they can get in, can’t a person? If a terrorist is going to take a small plane and turn it into a bomb, do you think they would be smart enough to go to one of those small fenceless airports instead of the big one with the fence around it? Probably. Then why do I need a badge and a background check? How am I threat to my country?
We’ve had two terrorist attacks in this country involving yellow Ryder rental trucks. Rental trucks can carry a much heavier payload and can cause much more damage than a small plane. My plane can only carry a couple hundred pounds of payload. A Ryder truck can carry tons. Do the math. But I don’t think you need to pay for and wait for a federal background check to rent a yellow truck. You certainly don’t need a security escort if you drive to a destination in another town. And you are not put on a federal watch list because you want to rent a yellow truck.
What’s going on? It’s fear and money. And I’m getting tired of it. We live in constant fear of each other. We’re all going to get shot, abducted, robbed, exploded, etc. We’re going to die of swine flu or that bird disease thing. I read today that showerheads contain bacteria that might be very harmful. Well, so does my poop. And so does the poop of our neighbor’s dog. And, to make matters worse, on occasion, I’ve seen my neighbor’s dog lick its butt (the same butt the poop comes from). Then it licks people. Dogs are terrorists.
I fully expect a new government agency to be created to govern poop. Since poop contains harmful bacteria, and poop is so easily made (especially after a few onion rings), federal background checks will be needed, at your expense, and permits will be required, at your expense, in order to poop. A HAZMAT team will be required at each incident, another fee, and several reports will be generated, at your expense, in order to insure the safety of this country from something that can kill you. Yes people, poop kills. And it’s everywhere.
Now, get this. Sometimes, when I’m at the airport, I poop. They have a bathroom there with real toilets you can poop in. I’m a double threat. Now, what if I had the swine flu, had diarrhea (the worst kind of poop) and rent a Ryder truck, drove it to the airport, then had to vomit? Imagine how many badges I would need.
I’ve been told to be careful about flying too low over Mendocino County. There are a lot of pot growers from the drug cartels that take shots at small airplanes thinking we are the Feds. In this great country you can be from a drug cartel, own a big gun, shoot at planes from your pot farm and never need a federal background check or need a badge. You can rent a Ryder truck, fill it with your pot and big guns, and drive it anywhere without an escort. You aren’t even on a federal watch list. In fact, the government might not even know you’re here. But if you’re a pilot of a small plane, you might be a terrorist and someone to be feared.
I resent that. I’m so mad I could poop.
