Walking on Water

A couple of weeks ago we created an 18" deep tank filled with a special non-Newtonian liquid with incredible properties. Run on the liquid and you don't sink. Stop, for even a second, and get sucked into quicksand. Enjoy the video!

Eeeeeeeewww!

Moments ago our very large cat struggled up onto our bed and sat for a second. As I sit in my special back chair next to my bed, the cat decides to stare at me. A few seconds later it decides to sit on my nightstand right next to my chair. It sits on my cell phone. But for some reason I think nothing of it.

When the cat tires of staring at me, he gets up and moves back over to the bed and lies down. I look over at my cell phone that has a polished mirror finish. Upon it I see the greasy donut-shaped mark of his playdough fun factory.

After typing this I am going to find the acetone, Lysol, and rubbing alcohol and give that tainted mirror finish back it’s luster, and me, my dignity.

Straight from the Heart, Part II

After I left the ER, the doctor said to make an appointment with my regular physician within the week to get a referral to a cardiologist. So I make an appointment and show up at my assigned time on Tuesday. But Now I’ve turned into an old guy because my appointment wasn’t actually for another week. Back to work I go.

So I called again and got an appointment on Wednesday with a nurse practitioner. I show up, give her my history and she says a referral is in order. So she looks on her computer and says, “Wow. They have an opening in a half hour. Would you like to wait?”

So instead of hanging out in a waiting room and exposing myself to all kinds of illnesses, I went to my car. I made a couple phone calls, listened to a CD, and fooled lots of people into thinking I was leaving, thus vacating a hard to find parking space. Tee hee.

I waited in a very long line of very old people to check in. It was the heart department. So now I guess I’m old. I gave the receptionist my club card then went to sit down. Just as my cheeks hit the seat they called my name. In I went. For the fourth time in a day I explained why I was here to the nurse. Then she weighed me (for the second time in a day). Amazingly, I had dropped 6 lbs in a half hour. It must have been from the exercise I had rolling up and down the window in the car.

In a couple of minutes the cardiologist appeared. He was a jovial man, perhaps from saving people from heart attacks all day. That must be a nice job. I again went over my heart history and he listened intently. He paid attention to me much more than my daughters or my wife. I wasn’t used to that.

He then said with great concern how he was going to send me ASAP to a Kaiser specialty hospital in Santa Clara about 3 hours away. He said I needed an aAtrial Fibrillation Radiofrequency Ablation. I would rather have Key Lime pie from Outback. What they do is stick a couple of wires up the femoral artery until they reach the heart. Then one of the wires shocks my heart into running fast again. They monitor what’s wrong and figure out how to fix it. Then they shock it into slowing down. Once that’s done they use the tip of one of the wires to make little burns on some of the nerves running my heart. That blocks the nerves from sending signals. Cured.

So now I’m researching everything I can on Atrial Fibrillation Radiofrequency Ablation, Paroxysmal Supraventricular Tachycardia, and Key Lime pie. But the more I research, the less I am excited about what I know. So, I’m done with the research. I will blindly place my trust in my insurance company and the people they’ve hired to stick a wire up my leg and burn my heart. On the way home I shall dream of the Key Lime pie in the fridge waiting for me.

I don’t have an appointment yet. However, I know the day will be filled with interesting stories. Stay tuned as I’m certain it will be a memorable event.

Straight from the Heart

So I’ve had this racing heartbeat thing for a while, as in a number of years. I don’t remember when it started. But my heart would beat rapidly for a few seconds and then return to normal. No big deal. But over the years the frequency of this occurrence has grown, as have the length of the episodes. So, lately, it’s been happening about every week and a half. But it usually goes away after about a half hour. Just about the time I think about going in to the emergency room, my heart decides to return to normal.

Kaiser Permanente is the name of our large health farm. When I researched this condition on their website, it says something like, “When you get it, bear down like you’re having a tremendous bowel movement,” or something like, “just take a deep breath and relax.” Neither of those techniques work. It never said anything like, “If your heart races for more than 20 minutes, seek emergency medical help immediately.”

So, since Kaiser treated this condition with a whimsical attitude, I did, until last Thursday. I was awakened by my heart beating at 180 bpm at 4:50 a.m. It’s an uncomfortable feeling that leaves you out-of-breath and light headed. So I went downstairs and turned on the TV and decided to wait it out. Besides, it would gone after 30-45 minutes. Right?

At 7:00 a.m. it’s still running hard and now I’m very out of breath and exhausted. My heart is telling my brain that I’ve been sprinting for over two hours. And my chest is really tight and painful. So now maybe it’s time to go to the emergency room. My loving wife was more than happy to take me so off we go.

I arrive and no sooner do I sit down than they call me in. Before my shirt is off they have at least three of those sticky EKG pads on me. The rest go on before I lay back. I’m now hooked up to a monitor and the ER doctor quickly diagnoses me with Paroxysmal Supraventricular Tachycardia with an ectopic heartbeat thrown in just for fun. My heart was now running at an official 176 bpm.

Now that know what it is, time to get rid of it. The doctor has me bring my knees to my chest, stick my thumb in my mouth, and bear down like I’m having a bowel movement (the doctor must have read the same website I did). But it didn’t work. So he had me try it again. Still nothing.

He then stuck a big needle in my arm and started an IV. He gave me a dose of something called Adenosine. “This is going to make you feel a little funny.” It actually made me feel like I was going to die. Immediately I felt incredibly out of breath and my severe hyperventilating did no good. This was because my heart entered a state called ventricular asystole. Basically, it stops for a few seconds, leaving the brain without any oxygen delivery system, thus causing the hyperventilating and the feeling of eminent death. “This is going to make you feel a little funny.” How’s about, “We’re going to give you a horrible drug that will stop your heart from beating for a few seconds. But it won’t feel like a few seconds to you. It will feels like several minutes. Hopefully your heart will recover on its own. If not, we’ll wait for you to go comatose and then we’ll shock your heart with those electric paddles you see on T.V.”

Thankfully it worked and my heart slowed to about 95 bpm. They monitored me for about 2 hours and pumped me full of fluids until my bladder was stretched to the size of a volleyball. They sent me home with instructions on what to do and a new medicine to keep it from happening again. My wife drove us home and I took a long nap. Adventure over. Or was it?