Breakfast and Yorvik

It was going to turn out to be a great day. We met our hosts, Chris and Julie Simpson in the dining room of our bed and breakfast at 23 St. Mary’s. We slept very well and were looking forward to another full English breakfast. We would not be disappointed. And since the girls never got up for breakfast, we would be dining with our new friends, Maurice and Pauline Williams. We had met them the night before in the B&B lounge. They were in York to see their grandson sing in the great cathedral during the week, a treat that we would miss. Now we joined them for breakfast.

As described before, the full English consists of eggs, English bacon, Cumbrian sausage (made from real Cumbrians), fried potatoes, fried bread, fried tomato, sautéed mushrooms, eggs (however you like them) and this one would include something extra special. On the advice of Maurice and Pauline, I tried the black pudding. Now before I tell you what it is, I’ll describe it’s taste. Actually, I cannot, as it tasted like nothing like anything I’ve ever eaten. It wasn’t bad at all, but it wasn’t familiar, either. I have nothing to compare it to. However, the mouth-feel was something like firm stuffing. Basically black pudding is blood stuffing. That’s right, it’s blood-soaked bread cooked up in a tasty (?) little round shape looking quite black on the plate. Sheri gave hers to Maurice. I ate mine politely. It did not cause me to gag in any way, unlike the mineral water in Bath. But I did not order another slice.

This I must, however, mention aside from the excitement of the black pudding. This was probably the best breakfast I’ve ever had. Food is my hobby. Appreciating great food is my other hobby. Chris Simpson cooked an amazing breakfast. I told him to surprise me with the eggs. He brought out the most heavenly scrambled eggs I’ve ever had. And I’m really good at scrambled eggs. Julia Child said, “if the eggs are done in the pan, they are overdone on the plate.” Chris Simpson knew Julia’s secret. They were exquisite, as was the rest of the meal and the coffee. Wow! That’s a huge plug for 23 St. Mary’s in York!

We must have sat at the table for an hour enjoying the company of our new friends. But then it was off to see the town. We started with a riverside walk down the Dame Judy Dench pathway. We didn’t know what we were walking on her pathway until we saw the plaque at the end. It was a lovely walk filled with the sounds of the girls telling us they didn’t want to see one more cathedral. Too bad for them. However, just to make them happy we started at the Jorvik Viking Centre.

As mentioned before, York used to be a Viking city right after the Romans were done with it. The Jorvik Viking Experience lies deep under the city where an attempt was made at a Disney-like ride akin to the Pirates of the Caribbean, only with hairy and smelly Vikings. You go down the stairs and enter a corny time travel machine. You watch a quick movie and then the seats wiggle slightly from side to side indicating you have just traveled back to 975 A.D. California wiggles back and forth sometimes but we’re never brought back in time. Then you team up and enter basket-looking carts and they bring you around the Viking village. They blast authentic smells at you but most of the stink fans smell like burning mulch. But it’s nice mulch, not nasty mulch. You know the kind.

We got a huge kick out of the ride. And since we’re descended from Viking stock, it made spending a hundred bucks for a fifteen-minute ride even more worthwhile. We got to see a real archeological dig. But the highlight was the frighteningly large Viking turd. Constipation was the first thing I thought of that poor Viking. And no wonder it was found petrified because it was probably already halfway to petrification when it was dropped by that poor Viking.

So, let me cap off the morning. Best breakfast, ever. Great conversation with new friends. Super-expensive and cheesy Viking ride culminating in looking at a huge petrified Viking turd in a protected glass case. It was like looking at the Jorvik Crowned Jewel. And all this before noon! What other adventures would the rest of the day reveal? Plenty.

And just for clarification, in the photo above appears on the left with sword, Brittney, a Viking, and Elissa. The Viking appears at first glance to be a very hairy Viking maiden with large saggy boobs. But it is actually a handsome Viking warrior with his belt hiked up really high under his large belly lending the appearance of drooping McGuffies.