Penrhyn Castle

Penrhyn Castle is located in northern Wales and it really is not a castle at all. It was built about 150 years ago by the Pennant family who originally made their fortune in the sugar plantations in Jamacia. The family switched to slate mining and made a larger fortune. There’s a lot of controversy surrounding the family and the exploitation of slaves and Welsh slate miners. But we were not there to engage in such debates. We went because one of my co-workers, Donna, has family that were caretakers of the fake castle for years and years. We also really wanted to see a grand British country house. And because we had a connection to it, Penhryn seemed to be a good place to visit.

This would turn out to be our last jaunt in Wales as the girls were getting more and more overcome by carsickness the longer we traveled. And the complaints were increasing as well. Again, we traveled through a stunning countryside to get to Penhryn. Once there, we were overwhelmed by what rich people do with their money, and how they behave toward others. Penrhyn is now owned by the National Trust. They got it because the death duty was so great that no family member could afford to keep the castle so the government took it as payment. That’s the way governments get rich and get to keep all the nicest houses.

Penhryn has the largest private art collection of any family in the U.K. other than the Queen. The inside is stunning and there’s way too much furniture to sit on and too many rooms to make the place seem livable. Perhaps that’s because I live in a 2,000 sq. ft. house with a tiny yard, all of which could have fit into their grand ballroom. But really, who needs a house that big?

The most interesting things in the house were the items Queen Victoria used on her visit to the home. They have a one-ton bed carved from slate the queen slept on. And they showcase the water closet in which she made queen poop and queen tinkle. Since only a queen can make queen poop and queen tinkle, I was mesmerized. No samples of the royal leavings were on display.

As with every tour through an historical establishment, I was the slowest one, getting my money’s worth. At one point I heard an alarm go off probably signaling that someone went into a restricted area. In the back of my mind, I thought, “That’s probably my wife.” Then I went on with the tour.

The servant’s quarters, where Donna’s family worked for years and years, was massive and maze-like. There was a long hallway with 75 bells and placards near the ceiling. These were bells that the rich family rang whenever they needed a page turned in a book or wanted someone’s hand to sneeze in. Rich people can ring their servants for just about anything.

After a couple of hours I met my family in the café and gift shop at the end of the tour. Sheri was upset and shaken. She was looking at a painting by one of the Dutch masters. Glare from a nearby window masked the fine detail of the painting. Her eyes are not that great and so she squinted and moved closer setting off the alarm. One of the security guards yelled at her insisting that she back away.

The guard was quite upset for she was convinced my wife was going to steal that three foot by four foot painting by placing it under her shirt. Arrogant Americans do that all the time, you see. But the guard forgot that if it weren’t for arrogant Americans, Hitler would now own that painting and she would be speaking German. But I digress.

We wandered about a small portion of the 40,000 acres of the estate. The gardens were beautiful and filled with plants from around the world. One plant had the largest leaves we’ve ever seen. Take a look at our photo album for a peek. The outside of the castle is all you’ll see in photos since they did not allow photography inside the castle. So unless you Google “inside of Penhryn fake castle house,” you won’t see the inside.

We jumped in the car and headed back. The girls became sick again. When we got back to our swap-house, we decided to end our stay early and head to our new destinations. The girls didn’t want to drive six hours a day from the house to see stuff any more. The rest of our trip involved driving to a city and staying there three days. But that meant we had to leave Wales, a place in which we had fallen in love.

That evening we packed and announced to Mr. Wiley that we would be leaving early. He did not seem too pleased. He told us that before we left he wanted to play the organ for us and invite us to his home for tea. Tomorrow would be a very interesting day.