Teddy Bear Hamsters

When you travel a lot you get plenty of good stories. They just seem to happen. Sometimes they’re bad ones like the man next to me who rubbed his scaly bare feet on the plane at 6 AM then offered me his cheese fries. Sometimes they are frustrating like the time I spent 4 hours on the tarmac at O’Hare waiting for a thunderstorm to pass. But the one I have today, kids, is a cute little one involving little fuzzy animals.

It was another trip to Knoxville, Tennessee. I have to leave on the earliest United flight to get to Knoxville before dark. It’s nasty getting up at 2:30 AM to get to SFO in time but it is nice to beat the morning airport rush. Watching the sunrise above the Sierra Nevada mountains is amazing while climbing to 31,000 feet. I quickly nodded off and soon we were on the ground at O’Hare. Nothing remarkable happened. I then caught my puddle-jumper flight to Knoxville without any problems or stories. I knew I’d be in the clear.

After we landed all 35 of us got off the tiny plane and we headed downstairs to claim our luggage. Mine was actually one of the first ones off. That never happens. Well, almost never. I did have one flight to Chicago when one of my two bags was the first off the plane. Amazing! But then I waited for the second bag forever. Eventually the carousel stopped, leaving me empty-handed. I went to the lost baggage claim and they eventually found it for me on another carousel. So much for being first!

And just to throw in another quick story. Down in the United baggage claim area there is a restroom I often use. It is a little-used restroom because most of the people getting off their flights pee in the restrooms in the concourse. They are always too crowded so I learned to hold my water until in the baggage claim area restroom. I was in there once making wee when the man next to me took a step back and purposely peed on my shoes. He then took off running. I found a police officer and told him my strange story. He said I was not the first victim and that a man posing as a traveler had been doing this Pee & Flee for a couple of weeks. I was just another innocent victim with soiled shoes.

Now, where was I? OK, so I’ve got my luggage in Knoxville and I head to the Hertz rental counter to get my car. I’m standing in line behind a very short, fat man with a British accent. As I look at the back of his bald head I notice something strange about his ears. His hair was styled in a fashion where the hair was sticking out around his ears. Then I noticed that it wasn’t a hair style at all. It was a huge ball of hair growing out of both ears. It was so nasty. It looked as if he had two teddy bear hamsters nesting in his ear canal.

I couldn’t stop staring at them. As he talked, the two hamsters seemed to be trying to get deeper inside his ears. I swear the hair was at least ¾ of an inch long. He was fascinating to look at. I looked for a wedding band because surely any good wife would have put up a fuss so I figured he must be single. Nope. He was married. Then I thought, his wife must be blind. Then I thought perhaps his wife hates him and lets those hamsters stay right where they’re growing just to spite him. There were so many things to think about in line at the Hertz counter.

We’re headed to the United Kingdom this summer for a long vacation. We’re doing a house swap with a couple in Wales. I know the British are teased for their lack of tooth care. On this trip I will see if this attitude also applies to their ear grooming as well. I have a zoom lens on my camera so if I see any ear hamsters, you’ll see them here on my blog.