Lime Green Jello

Myke Kudlas was an amazingly funny guy who was on summer staff with me in my early years at Lake Beauty. He’s a brilliant man and one who you would have to watch out for, lest you become the object of his prank. Since this has to be short tonight I’ll tell a quick little funny about Myke.

For weeks during the summer of 1985 he kept telling us he was going to snort Jello in front of the kids during one of our after lunch entertainment segments. He kept talking about it but never actually did it. It was getting really old. Then one afternoon, well into the summer, out of the blue he stood up in front of all the campers and snorted the Jello right up his nose. The lodge was filled with screams, eeews, oh gross’, and laughter. I remember it was Lime Green Jello, no fruit.

We all got a good laugh and were so happy that Myke got to fulfill one of his life goals. I’m certain his parents would have been proud. About ten minutes later we dismissed the campers to their cabins for the state-mandated nap-time. By the way, any of you former campers reading this need to know that state mandated naps was a lie. Sorry, but it gave us a needed break. So, we’re reminiscing with Myke about the green Jello when he starts repeating, “I just snorted Jello. I just snorted Jello.” All we could do was agree. But he kept repeating that phrase. And now he was getting strange on us.

Some switch had turned on in his brain because now he began to convulse just a little. We thought, “Here comes the next joke.” However, it wasn’t a joke. It was green puke. It looked like Jello. And it was everywhere. He barely missed us but we quickly dodged his lime-fragranted emesis. Somehow, his thought process led him back to a place where snorting Jello was actually gross. In fact, it was so gross it was deserving of a good lime green heave… ten minutes later.