Lake Beauty Houdini

It was the middle of the summer at Lake Beauty and I was headed into St. Cloud, the only big city near camp, for a day off in the middle of the week with my young family. I always felt bad about leaving camp in the middle of the week because there was so much going on. But I knew all would be well because I had a very capable staff of talented and highly creative college students. But sometimes that creativity got me into trouble.

That summer two of my staff, Jeremy Sohlstrom and Ryan Richardson decided to perform some Houdini-esque magic tricks. One of my favorites involved placing Ryan inside a large cloth bag, locking the top, covering him up and watching him wriggle around until he popped out from under the sheet. It was a crowd pleaser. But soon the boys grew tired of this and they wanted to up the ante.

They convinced me that Ryan could do this trick underwater. The idea was to place him in the bag and then roll him off the end of the dock. He would hold his breath and quickly escape. We took some safety precautions like only throwing him into the shallow end, placing a knife inside the bag in case something went wrong, and putting two strong lifeguards in the water next to him with orders to drag him into the shallows in the event the countdown reached a certain point. They rehearsed it and convinced me it was perfectly safe. They performed this trick for the campers a couple of times and they were very amazed. It was a great trick.

I am now in St. Cloud with my family. My three-year-old daughters are happily playing in their car seats when suddenly we hear a familiar and unwelcome sound. Brittney had puked all over herself and we were caught unprepared. But three years of fatherhood taught me to think quickly. We immediately drove to Target. I sent Sheri inside to purchase some cheapo towels and a new outfit for Britt while I stayed inside the stinky car. She then took the new towels into the store restroom where she wet them down in the sink. We used them to clean her up spic-and-span. While Sheri was in the store Elissa decided to comfort her sister with a song she made up.

Throw up go away, throw up go away,
Throw up go away from me.
Throw up go away, throw up go away,
Throw up go away from me today.

It was sung to a tune I had never heard. It was all I could do to keep from laughing, as both my girls were very sensitive to that when they were young. “That was very nice,” I said to Elissa. “Thanks, dad. I’ve got grow the flowers and drive the bus songs, too!” I was about to bust a gut.

Back at camp, the boys took advantage of my absence. They upped the proverbial ante again. Without my knowledge, they devised an even “better” performance. They placed Ryan into the bag. Ryan put a large folded-up towel on his head inside the bag. Jeremy poured a little bit of gasoline on top of the bag, lit the bag on fire, then pushed Ryan into the water. They told me later they had practiced this stunt with no ill effects. However, on this day, after pouring the gasoline Jeremy talked a little too long allowing fumes to build up inside the bag. It didn’t take long. When Jeremy lit the bag it created a fireball inside the bag causing Ryan to panic. He immediately rolled himself into the water. In his panic he struggled to get out of the bag. Maybe Jeremy can leave us a comment here to tell up what happened next because I was not there and I certainly would not want to make anything up.

What Jeremy and Ryan did not know, and neither did I, was that at the camp director and the camp’s uptight insurance agent snuck down to the waterfront that day. They saw the whole thing. The director thought I had sanctioned this trick so I was in a lot of trouble the moment I arrived home in my puke-filled car. No matter what I said I could not convince the director that I didn’t know about this new trick. It was not a good evening for me. I can laugh about it now but it was a doozie at the time.

Britt went to bed and slept off her illness. Ryan spent the evening nursing his burns and praying his hair would grow back. Jeremy just laughed all night. I went to bed knowing that if I were in Jeremy and Ryan’s shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. And the campers all went home with a great story to tell about a guy in a bag on fire that jumped into the water and the next day had a red face and no eyebrows. It was just another day at LaBeCoBiCa.