Screaming In Church

A few weeks ago a famous video game company contacted Dan Ferguson, our student ministries pastor, offering our student ministries $1000 for every 100 people we get to help them out recording sound effects for a video game. So, today was the big day.

I sat in our sanctuary with 300 other church folks and we looked at a big screen scroll words by that we all shouted really loud. Some of my favorites were:


“Six Points”
“Pagans”
“Denied”
“Sasquatch”
“O.J.”
“Butkis”
And we did many versions of Woo, Yeah, Oh, etc. It took about two hours. Between screams they gave away prizes. I never win anything but today I won one of the big prizes. I won a controller for an XBox 360. The only problem is that we don’t own an Xbox 360 so I gave my major prize away. I am now at home and my ears are ringing and my voice is hoarse. But the student group is $3,000 richer. Once the video game is out I’ll let you know and perhaps even get you a sample of our wooing.

Now, this leads me to another related topic. I am wondering if any of you noticed this. Sometime in the early 1980’s our American way of screaming and cheering changed. Remember how we used to all scream, “Yeah!” But in the early 80’s our screaming changed to “Woo!” I’m serious. Think back and you’ll realize I am right. I don’t ever remember “wooing” in the 70’s. All we did was “yeahing.” Then it dawned on me. MTV began in 1981. Watch MTV and all you’ll hear is woo, no yeah. My doctoral thesis will be “Yeah to Woo, How MTV Changed Our Cheering.” You know I’m right.

And another thing. Dan Ferguson looked at my blog and decided I was mean to him. So, in the spirit of Christian retaliation he is starting a website called scottisastupidhead.com. Bring it on Dan. Do your worst. And, by the way, you need to defrost your office fridge because it is freezing my bottled water.